( you've spent the entire night trying to keep away, trying to distract yourself from what you really want by baiting other girls, pretending to be interested in anyone but the only girl you're not allowed to look at that way. at least, that's what you've been telling yourself, repeating over and over again that it was wrong, that, by law, you were brother and sister. not that you care much for the law anymore, breaking it any chance you get. it's only the fear of your mother's disappointment that makes you hesitant. the loss of your family crippled her, as it did you, and the last thing you want is to ruin the closest thing to happiness she's found since, all because you're selfish.
but you are selfish.
not selfish enough to lead nina away yourself, but enough to tempt her to follow you. you remember what she'd told you just the night before, which is exactly why you disobey, finding the first blonde to attract your attention, offering her a tour inside your house, all with the hopes that it would bother her. your step sister. but even if that plan falls through, you wouldn't complain. all you seem to want these days is a body to distract yourself with, because it makes you feel like you're good for something again, like your hands are more than just weapons of destruction. for a while, you can forget that those are the same hands that killed half of your family.
it's those very same hands that are pulling the girl -- you forget her name -- closer when you hear a knock on the door. you're not nearly as inconvenienced or caught off guard as you pretend to be, because it's exactly what you'd hoped for. but you play the part, because you have to. because you're not alone with her. because you shouldn't want to be in the first place. you pull back from your company, eyes rolling. almost instantly, the other girl is forgotten. )
no subject
but you are selfish.
not selfish enough to lead nina away yourself, but enough to tempt her to follow you. you remember what she'd told you just the night before, which is exactly why you disobey, finding the first blonde to attract your attention, offering her a tour inside your house, all with the hopes that it would bother her. your step sister. but even if that plan falls through, you wouldn't complain. all you seem to want these days is a body to distract yourself with, because it makes you feel like you're good for something again, like your hands are more than just weapons of destruction. for a while, you can forget that those are the same hands that killed half of your family.
it's those very same hands that are pulling the girl -- you forget her name -- closer when you hear a knock on the door. you're not nearly as inconvenienced or caught off guard as you pretend to be, because it's exactly what you'd hoped for. but you play the part, because you have to. because you're not alone with her. because you shouldn't want to be in the first place. you pull back from your company, eyes rolling. almost instantly, the other girl is forgotten. )
You have to be fucking kidding me. Why?